--Isn't this little guy/gal adorable? I can't be sure as to the sex as he/she is not mine. Quite honestly, I have looked at this shot many a time over the year I've had it in my collection and only today did I even notice there is another cat in the background. Brother, sister, or maybe even mommy- who knows for sure.
Regardless, this shall not be a post about kittens, sorry. I for all intents and purposes over the last apparently four months plus have posted nothing here! I was surprised. Although I never had the intention of posting everyday such as I used to do with the facebook page, four plus months caught me off guard a bit...in reality that's sort of the theme here. What it is that has been keeping me so very busy that I was so pre-occupied I have completely overlooked the new website for so long. This is no way to increase the traffic to said website which was indeed the idea to begin with.
Having said that, I shall now endeavor to inform the masses of my life through the last while and produce an explanation of where I have been.
But first...I know at least one person that is wondering, so here it is- yes I am still moving to the island in or around June...there was some speculation with interviews and what not at VCC, yet alas I have since been eliminated from that competition and therefore shall continue with plans for the move as before with the insightful and very much useful to future endeavors in the field- knowledge gained from those interviews.
Since My last post in mid-November (yeah I know, right) I have indeed been busying myself just trying to close up shop with the two employers I have/had- still have, shit I don't even know anymore!
I resigned from the Salvation Army a year ago in December 2016- yes you read that correctly- 2016. I am still a casual employee. As a matter of fact I am working this entire week covering another's holidays. It' nice to be needed. Something I can't say I was not all that long ago...
Yet I digress...
My last shift at St. Georges was on the 11th of March, so quite recently, and of course I have already agreed to pick-up a few shifts before I go; in April- and dependent on the move date possibly a couple of grad dinners in June too. Time will tell...
Majestic ain't she... I gotta say I am sincerely going to miss this place. I had some good times and met some wonderful people that I will also miss very much. An experience I will not soon forget.
I think just the opportunity to return to a company that I never in a million years thought I would be a part of again, for me was the ultimate learning experience. It showed me deep down that with hard work and persistence and a little luck too, we can and we do accomplish amazing things in our lives.
Quite certainly the deeper meaning here is lost on the majority, but as my recovery as a whole goes this was a monumental achievement.
I do have many people to thank for this experience, and I have...
Humbled as I have become over these last few years....
So in reality, both jobs have now come to an end as a regularly scheduled employee, just the occasional shifts here and there from this point on. Now comes the hard part, organizing the whole move across the pond.
This of course would be the Dallas Road beach. I thank you again my dear daughter for the use of the print, both here and previously many, many, a time. (No that is not me on the beach, just some random guy)
I guess the question I get asked most now by others is why? Why are you suddenly picking up and leaving? To begin with it is anything but sudden. When I first came over here the plan was three months and gone, outta here, vamoose, sianara (that's not right, I don't speak Spanish) Anyhoo...now having been close to four years in this sometimes Godforsaken place. As I write this there is someone screaming outside on the street that I can hear over the radio, across the second floor courtyard and about 100 feet down with only one window open just a crack. To me he is quite obviously out of his mind on some form of hallucinogenic, hence the screaming... I'm on the fourth floor, three suites in from the road, oh- it's 4:30 am too. This is not uncommon. this does get tiring, and yes depressing, so very, very, depressing.
Need I say more as to my decision to leave?
Probably not but I'm going to anyway. Lately my biggest gripe is being able to negotiate the sidewalks to and from the local grocery store, about three maybe four blocks, without stepping in a pile of dog shit! I am not sure why yet as of late, no one seems to picking up their poo. Every ten steps a new pile. It's horrifying, and disgusting, and just plain unnecessary.
On my way to the market yesterday i got about thirty feet from the front door and there were the police on the corner, not unusual here either, I could see feet sticking out from the side of the building on the corner so they obviously were talking to someone. Turns out there were a couple, as I walked up I watched as the man pulled a syringe out of his thigh and the woman out of the back of her hand- then threw them on the ground in front of themselves as the female officer proceeded to crush them into the sidewalk with her steel-toed boots. thus rendering them unusable again. Again, not an uncommon sight. Did I mention there is a needle exchange across the street? Uh huh, let's hope the officers at least took away their heroin...
Yet I still get asked the question, why? Funnily enough, there are so many people I now know here that see these things everyday as I do and oddly it does not seem to register with them. It's normal occurrence, "why should it bother me that people are killing themselves all around me day after day?" is the unfortunate attitude. That, in and of itself is the thing I so wish to get away from. The complacency of the people here is shocking. "This is the way things are here and there is nothing I can do to change that." That is the attitude, that is the general consensus. Deep down this bothers me to the very core that people have become so cold in their sobriety. Remembering where I live, everyone in this residence has gone through treatment here at one point. Whether or not they are using again is 'up in the air' in the residence. This is not monitored here. When this does become apparent in a resident there is an attempt to get said person help, yet if that fails- they are without doubt asked to leave.
There was an individual recently that has now been sent on his way because he again was deep into his addiction and all attempts to help have been unsuccessful. Many were made, nothing has come of it, now the man has disappeared which is common with addicts using. Personally, I know the man and he was one of the last people I ever thought would use again. But that's the disease- no one and I mean no one is immune to relapse. Nope, not even me!!
So you tell me, is it in my best interests to stay amongst this horror any longer?
I think not...
These are also not uncommon sights...
Next week, after this last stint with the Sally Ann is complete, Saturday actually I am on a ferry back to Victoria to find a new residence where I can hopefully stay for some time to come. Away from this that makes me wonder if a normal life is indeed still possible. I'm not gonna know till I try- so work shall be put on hold, publishing books shall be put on hold also. For now my focus is on me, the move my sanity and my own sense of self. Happiness is my goal. I can't achieve that any more here in this place, than I already have. I have accomplished what I came here to do and then some.
What is next for me right now is sort of an unknown but this entire journey started as a plunge into an abyss of loneliness and sadness and was just that for some time.
Having made it through the really hard stuff, my self-realization is such now that with awareness and the insight of many many an individual throughout my journey I wholeheartedly plan on success for my future at whatever I choose to become.
One tall cup of reality please...