A few years ago, perhaps a little longer than that, I had the unfortunate experience of losing everything I own due to my own misdeeds in what I had perceived as a normal existence. This included my rather sorry excuse for a home, yet it was a place I could indeed refer to as my home. If one has ever lost such they will know first hand the extent of what I felt at that time, and for some time after. To a point I still feel that way. Where I reside now I do not consider to be 'Home' per se. More a place of refuge until such a time as I can comfortably remove myself from the rather dreary, depressingly chaotic scene of this temporary residence.
To say I have had many homes over the fifty plus years I have been on the planet would be a gross understatement. Whether I could truly call them homes either once I reached the adult years is all so uncertain to me now also. They were but the place I slept- the place I kept my crap really. Most were not something I have any fond memories of. Not all-yet most.
When I came to Vancouver from Victoria, I came for a reason, and one reason only. At first. Initially the reason was to get sober, then all I wanted to do was to get the hell out of here. I mean; the reason I had moved from Vancouver in the first place was because I just did not like it here any longer for many other reasons I shall not get into. This would indeed become a novel if I did. Suffice it to say I never had any intention of coming back here, ever. Yet this is where I ended up, and this is where I needed to be, and this is where I needed to stay for as long as I have. That time, it would now seem is coming to a long awaited close.
Upon first revelation of this yet undecided decision - 'back-of-my-mind-for-a-long-time-plan' to my incredibly supportive yet quite conservatively critical counselor Ashley- after a long pause in conversation on her part, all she could say to begin with was "I see no red flags at all in your plans." "As a matter of fact it makes me very happy."
Still though, I have not made any decisions as to most of the circumstances except the fact once my lease is up, I shall be leaving the wonderful city of Vancouver, and returning to that one and really only place that I have considered to be my home since being dragged across the country while in essence I was still a child so very many years ago. That being Victoria.
This is not going to be easy, or cheap, and quite possibly this could easily become the hardest thing I have attempted since becoming sober some three and a half years ago. Funnily enough I am not worried about work, attaining work for me should not be an issue by any means now. There are many options open to me, more so than when I was a practicing alcoholic. I was always a happy drunk, and I have, as such, not 'burned any bridges' from an employment point of view. Truth be told I am also considering returning to skool upon my completion of this latest quest of mine.
Recently I filled out an application regarding my latest book for entry into, 'Emerging Local Authors Collection' at the Greater Victoria Public Library. A part of the criteria was one needed to be a resident of the lower island or had lived on the lower island during the year of publication. The last part of that last sentence, well I misread the 'during the year of publication' part. I was declined the chance- or so I thought. After a carefully worded response to my situation of the last four years of my life and the intention of my two books, I have now been accepted to this collection with the email ending- "Welcome Home Joseph." -from a woman I have never even met.
This truly put many more things into perspective for me regarding the entire move.
I'm still scared, there are still many things that need to be worked out beforehand, there will be many tearful goodbyes leading up to the day. I have met some amazing people along this journey that will be difficult to leave, yet I know they have a place in my heart and mine in theirs. My life shall once again be starting a brand new chapter, a chapter I believe I shall title- 'Home.'